some people.......

Every had one of those days when you are fed up with someone but at least not to a point where you want to disown them? I'm having one of those days. One of my friends has been acting awful strange as of late. I mean they seem to be slowly disassociating themself from our little "group" of friends. I know I'm not the only one to notice it either. They appear to have a new set of friends that they like to hang out with rather than us.It's sort of ok cuz one of them used to be in our group too but the other one came out from virtually nowhere and she's certainly strange to put it bluntly. I used to think she was kinda cool but now I just have no opinion. But still the fact that it's like we don't exist when this person is around is slowly starting to piss several of us off. I know this to be true cuz I have been told the same thing by at least one other person and he agrees with me. Oh well, we don't go to nursery school so we can't exactly baby-sit anyone but still it kinda sucks.Anyhowz, Dad is home now. I am QUITE disappointed to find out that while Dad was in Cali, it was decided that he will no longer be in charge of the entire East Coast anymore. He is only in charge of the East Coast down to Virginia and Eastern Canada. So there goes any chance of him going to HAVE TO go to Orlando anymore. But now I will just have to make sure he takes me to Canada when he goes to Toronto cuz I have never been there and plus I wanna visit my aunt Sandy while there.

*sneeze*

I've been sick for the past two days. It all started while I was at school Tuesday when I had a massive sore throat and then yesterday I was so sick I had to leave my internship 1 1/2 hours early. I am gonna make the hours I missed up on Monday though. I came home and fell asleep and woke up 3 hours later.I feel better today. Still not 100% but at least well enough to go to school.Nothing much else is new. Dad's in Cali till tomorrow night. School is over in 2 more weeks and then vacation till July 12th when I start the Medical Assistant program.I hope I can convince Dad to go somewhere for vacation since he's on vacation from work at the same time. I would really like to go to Orlando or to Fort Wayne to visit Nana. We shall see.

i hate being me

Right now I'm hanging out in the lounge with John and Phoebe. They are gonna be heading to class in a few though. I'm sitting here putting on a good pretend happy face when in reality I just wish I could temporarily check out of my life and be someone else for awhile.I absolutely hate school right now. There is only 3 weeks left of the term and I feel like I'm gonna crash and burn. I don't know if I'll make it the next three weeks. The teachers are up my ass and I really can't stand it. I hate my internship. The people are cool people but I don't do shit there. I feel like I haven't learned crap. I sit in my internship class today and hear yet again of 2 people who got hired from their internship.I am in just a shitty mood and have no one I can talk to about this. I mean my parents won't give a shit. Dad's in California this week and mom couldn't care less. I am still resentful that they won't come to my graduation on Aug 21st. At least Lloyd said he won't miss it!Well I could go on for a year about how shitty I feel but it won't make things any better.

LONG LIVE DUCK HUNT!!!!!

:: how nintendo are you? ::ok admit it.....you probably used to try to shoot the dog like I did right?

Metal rules!!!!!

I'm sitting here watching the premire of "Top 100 Metal Events" on VH1. I've been waiting all month for this show and I almost forgot it was coming on. I remember a lot of these things from my high school days. They just got done showing when Ace Frehley of KISS got electrocuted during a concert in Largo Florida in 1976. He's one lucky mutha that he didn't die that night!I had sooooooo much homework to do today that I've been doing it off and on all day today and I just finally got it done. I am so tired that I think I'm gonna go to sleep now.Nighty night! :)

yay its a long weekend

It's Memorial Day weekend starting at the end of the day today. I don't have to go to my internship on Monday so it truly is a 3 day weekend for me other than having to work at school on Saturday and Sunday.I'm sitting in the lounge and I am freeeeeezing (yes i meant to type so many e's)cuz they don't believe on turning on the damn heat here. They are in the middle of taking out all the vending machines right now. I found out they're gonna paint this room over the weekend and that the vending machines will be back on Tuesday.Not much is going on. Just listening to tunes and hanging out till my class at 2:10.

why can't I do anything right?

I had a job interview with a temp agency today. They have a huge contract with New England Medical Center. They hired me and I will start doing assignments after June 25th when I end this program. I will do assignments while I do the Medical Assistant program. That way I can quit working in the Admissions Department here at school. Ever since Dave T left I have been miserable. The pay is the best I've ever had so that will be tough to give up but as long as the temp agency pays me the same amount or better I'll be good and will have the weekends to myself again! :)The thing that sucks is I called Dad at work and he sounded like I was dumb to take the job cuz I would loose my SSDI benefits if I work too much. He's right but I mean that IS the point--get a regular job so I don't have to rely on SSDI. I don't understand my parents, when I got put on SSDI back in 1996 they were giving me shit and now that I'm trying to get off it they are giving me shit--can't win.*now listening to "Dont Treat Me Bad (acoustic version)-Firehouse*I got my ipod mini on Tuesday. I had to get a blue one cuz there were no pink ones like I originally wanted. Oh well....at least I have one. I am sooooo glad that the store had them. Skipped my classes on Tuesday to go get it but it is sooooo worth it. Very cool. A couple people want to have one now that they've seen it.God damn Fleet Bank stole $$ from me today. I got NEGATIVE $300+ in my account. I THOUGHT I had till the 28th to send them a rebuttal on the MMV situation but here it is the 27th and they took away the $$. Damn Bastards.....gonna have to call them when I get home. MMV went out of business-found out last week. I think I should get my $$ back cuz they never sent me my travel documents. But they lied to Fleet and said I did. They're bastards too....glad they went out of business.Well just hanging out in the lounge till 2pm when I have class.Ciao!

back to the drawing board

Well the guy that we were gonna get the ipod mini from backed out of the deal cuz ebay and paypal closed his account with no excuse given. So now Patrick and I are back to looking for another one for me. I can't believe how difficult it is to find them, especially the pink ones. I'm starting to think that if I can't get a pink one soon, I will go with my 2nd choice which will be a blue one. Thost are alot easier to find. One bit of hope is that I called the Apple Store in Cambridge and they said they are probably getting a shipment on Thursday around 3pm....I am definitely calling at 3 and praying they got at least one pink one!Not much else is new. School is going ok. One more month to go before the term is over. I know I'm not doing as well this term as I did in the others but it is the last term of the program so I will be starting the Medical Assistant program in July.

yada yada yada

I am sooooooo bored. I wish I didn't have to go to class today but I got a midterm I gotta take. At least its open book so if I fail I must be pretty stupid! Third Party Billing isn't that hard though. So I should be fine.I am officially getting a pink Ipod Mini!!!! Patrick bought me one off of Ebay today!!! It was only $215 (including shipping) so we JUMPED on that! I think it will be shipped on June 6th or so.I need a friggin vacation....I need to get the fuck out of here. I want to go to Florida soooooo bad. I am seriously considering it once I graduate. I hate the winters and 31 years of them are waaaaaaay too much to have lived thru.Lloyd is probably the only reason I wouldn't move though. Of course he is sick of the winter too and would LOVE to be able to boat all year round. Still he says he will never move from his house. We shall see what happens.

yeah man, let's party man

Well not much is going on right now. I'm at home waiting to hear from Craig. I'm taking him and Katie to karaoke in Lynn. We're going to Fran's Place which is a gay bar that I used to do karaoke at when Joey was hosting there. I even called Joey to tell him I was gonna be there tonight but now that he lives up in Laconia NH I doubt he'll make the trek down. It would be really good to see him as it's been way too long since I've seen him and hell it's been almost 2 years since he last saw me do karaoke!Its been almost a year since I've even done karaoke and that was when I was in Indiana visiting my family when I went to my friend Jeff's karaoke shows every night I was out there.Anyways....it will be fun tonight. Luckily Fran's is 19+ with id so that Craig and Katie can get in. It's sooooooo hard to find a place that does karaoke that isn't 21+. Fran's is cool though. I wonder if Tish still works there. I think he might. I think it was his voice on the answering machine when I called there earlier this morning. He's da bomb!Well I suppose I should start getting ready cuz Craig will be getting online soon to let me know he's on his way.YAY!!!!Oh I forgot to mention, Craig and I are going to Metallica in October! We got Club seats!!!! Will be real fun!!!Okz I gotz to goez......ciao baby!

it's HOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!

Here I am at work, the air conditioning is not working and so it is freaking hot! It's hot outside which is always nice but not good when you're inside and have no AC!Managed to score Metallica tix for me and Craig. I'm sooooo glad he wants to go! I ended up telling him about it cuz he found out about it on the radio the other day and was planning on getting tix. He can't afford to buy them however so I told him that it's a birthday present from me so don't sweat it.Well Dad's coming home from Cali today. His plane is already in flight and he should be home around 4:20. I'm leaving work early (3:30) so I can go to the airport to surprise him.Well back to work.....only 2 more hours till I can leave!

I wanna talk about me......

Go ahead and answer these!!!1. Who are you?2. Are we friends?3. When and how did we meet?4. Do you have a crush on me?5. Would you kiss me?6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.7. Describe me in one word.8. What was your first impression?9. Do you still think that way about me now?10. What reminds you of me?11. If you could give me anything what would it be?12. How well do you know me?13. When's the last time you saw me?14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?15. Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal and see what I say about you?

:)

Well just got done talking to Craig online. We are back to being friends again. We basically agreed to put last Friday to rest and move on. I'm glad cuz I really missed being friends with him for the past week. I am glad that he is psyched about me getting the Metallica tix as a birthday present for him. I can't wait to see them either....been dying to see them since 1986!Not much else going on, Dad's in Cali on business till Saturday night. now listening to "Hells Bells" by AC/DCI had my 2nd Anatomy and Physiology test today. I think I did better on this one. I got a 78 on the first one. I can't wait to see what I got on this one. Midterms are coming up next week already!!!! I can't believe I am almost done with this program!I've made soooooo many good friends at Gibbs and I really hate the idea of leaving them behind so while I think I might have difficulty with the Medical Assistant program, I think I will give it a try. I only have 6 courses that I will have to take for that program but at least then I can end up graduating with my friends in the Feb 2005 graduation too.So glad tomorrow is Friday!

its 80 degrees yay!

It is starting to look a lot more like summer is on the way!!! Today is a beautiful day out. But you would have never known it from the way my day has been going so far.Woke up late, train delayed 15-20 mins so took bus instead. Bus was 15 minutes late getting to Oak Grove. I fell asleep on the Orange Line and woke up at Downtown Crossing. Got on the Red line to Park Street and caught the Green line there to school.I stopped at 7-11 and got a soda and then headed to school. Of all the freaking people to be outside smoking a cigarette but there was Craig. At first I didn't know what to do so I just tried to walk right past him to go into the building but noooooo he chose to go inside right behind me so I had to turn to him and say "Hey....can't chat...late for class" he said "me too" and so that was that.That is more than he's said to me all weekend. Last time he spoke to me was on Friday. But I don't wanna relive that nightmare again.Anyways.....Metallica is gonna be at the Fleet Center on 10/24. Craig's 20th b-day is 10/13. I would like to surprise him with tix (they go on sale this weekend) and I'm sure he doesn't know about the show and also that he probably doesn't have the $$ to get the tix even if he was aware of the show.However, he seems to be going out of his way to ignore me so I don't know if I should take the chance and buy tix cuz I don't know if he'd want to go with me to the show.Well other than that life's ok. School sucks (class-wise), my internship is going awesome and I'm gonna get to see Lloyd tonight for the first time in like 2 fucking weeks!!! ;)

blah

Craig apparently only wants to be friends. It's a total shame because I like him a lot. But hey at least we are really really (yes I know I typed that twice) good friends and that I am glad of. It's too bad I let a huge glass of Long Island Ice Tea do some talking for me yesterday and I said a little too much more than I wanted to. I think Craig is a little mad at me for what I said and with good reason.How fucking ironic....as I type this "Every Rose has it's thorn" is playing on my radio. This song seems to pop up whenever I manage to make an ass of myself by saying something I shouldn't have. Well, hopefully Craig and I can be friends still!I found out graduation is gonna be Saturday August 21st. My parents don't even want to fucking go. Goes to show you they don't fucking support me. Lloyd says he will go but I'm not holding my breath on that one. At least I can count on people from school being there. Not sure if all my friends can go but I am hoping they will. I'd like to have a huge party with my friends. If I could have my way I'd have KABANG come up from Orlando to play at the party but I think they said they'd charge me $1000 and that is just cuz we're friends!!!!!Well still got plenty of time and plus I don't know if I'll pass Anatomy & Physiology yet. At least I found out I can still graduate with a D as a final grade. LOL

Friends are forever

I can't believe the tv show "Friends" went off the air tonight. At least I'm glad to see that Ross and Rachel ended up together.I went to Metharbs for ice cream with Kim tonight. She's such an awesome person. She helped me feel better than I felt earlier today. I can't believe I shed a couple tears in front of Kim and Phoebe this afternoon. Normally I'm good at hiding my feelings well. I guess I must feel pretty strongly about Craig for this to have happened!Anyways, I would have thought that Craig would have been home by now. I hung out with him in the library for a couple hours tonight but I left around 6pm or so and he stayed there with some others. I hope that he's ok. I mean I know he had told me that he had gotten in 2 car accidents up in Newburyport on his way home from school within the past couple months and they all happened at night when it was dark out. That area where the train station is is wicked dark cuz its poorly lit. I hope he's ok. I mean I'm sure he's ok....I just worry too much I guess.I wish I knew what I did to cause Craig to not like me all of a sudden. I mean I thought he really liked me based on what he had said in his live journal and all. He's soooooo awesome and I can't think of anyone I've ever had so much hanging out with in a long time. He's another one who can put a smile on my face when I feel miserable. :)I really feel lonely a lot. Craig makes me smile. He makes it worthwhile to wake up and go to school. I think if he weren't there I would have dropped out by now. This term is especially hard and plus there's the added stress of not getting to see Lloyd as much as we used to cuz of all my stuff and his job's fucked up hours that change from day to day.I wish I knew how I could win Craig's heart cuz I've realized that he is who I'd like to be with. But I certainly don't want to do anything rash and break up with Lloyd before I know if I could have a chance with Craig because I am so afraid of going through life alone.Life sucks when you feel like you're alone in the world.

yawn

Well I'm sitting in the lounge with John who is in his own little world listening to music or something. Everyone else just left for class. Craig was here a few minutes ago and damn he looks cuter than normal!I honestly wish he'd stop being a dork and want to go out with me. Things between Lloyd and I are going soooooo strangely lately that I don't know what I want to do with that. Between my hectic schedule and Lloyd's work schedule we don't have time to see each other anymore. All we do is talk online or on the phone. Which will once again be the case tonight since he won't get home from work until 9:30ishI get to see Craig every day that I am at school and he is just sooooo cool. Yeah he's alot younger than I am but SFW? I really wish we could be more than friends. But that is his decision, I don't know why he changed his mind. I mean all we did was kiss once!!!Damn.

Why does life have to be so unkind?

I am sooooooo crazy about Craig. I just wish he felt the same way about me. But he told me he would rather be just friends. What kind of fucking shit is that?Ok yeah he's 19 and I'm 31 stfw?Yeah I know I'm with Lloyd but he's being a royal pain in the ass as of late and I'm sick and tired of him not having time for me.Oh well....it's late gotta go to sleep!

ugh

I am sitting here by myself. Craig just got caught by his teacher skipping his class. That's gotta bite! I don't feel like going to classes today so I am pretty much just hanging out all day.Man I'm really feeling messed up right now. Its a whole ton of things though. I don't know if its anything that will settle itself though. We will have to see.

ugh

Here I am at school sitting in the Student Lounge. I don't have class till 2pm. I'm sitting here with Craig who is watching a bootleg version of Kill Bill 2 on DVD. I am still in a daze that he likes me. It was apparently obvious to me cuz as soon as he found out I don't have class till 2, he decided to skip his English class that he's supposed to be at right now. He's never skipped that class before......sooooo!Well that's all I can say right now!

Welcome to my Journal

Well after seeing so many of my friends having a LiveJournal, I decided why shouldn't I have one? Well I don't really have a clue as to what I'll write about but we shall see as time goes on.Right now my life is fairly chaotic and I barely have any free time for myself between school and work. This is my last term at school and right now I feel that I don't have enough time in a day to do all the things I have to do.Oh well.....it's getting late and I gotta go to classes tomorrow.Till later......